The Self-Love Experiment: Fifteen Principles for Becoming More Kind, Compassionate, and Accepting of Yourself

Too many people seem to believe that they are not allowed to put themselves first or go after their own dreams out of fear of being selfish or sacrificing others’ needs. The Self-Love Experiment rectifies this problem. Whether you want to achieve weight loss, land your dream job, find your soul mate, or get out of debt, it all comes back to self-love and accepting yourself first. 

Shannon Kaiser walks you through her own personal experiment, a simple plan that compassionately guides you through the process of removing fear-based thoughts, so you can fall in love with life. If you want to change your outcome in life, you have to change your daily habits and perspective. Shannon takes you on this great journey into self-love and true self-acceptance.

In the article below, she explains…

6 Incredible Yet Unexpected Benefits of Finding Self-Love 

HAVE YOU EVER SAID, "If only I had more money, then I could do what I really want with my life,” or “If only I lost more weight, I could start dating again,” or “If only I were healthier, then I could be happier,” or “If only I were (fill in the blank), my life would be complete?”

Do you have a problem in your life, an insecurity or flaw that you’re trying to fix? If only it would go away, you tell yourself, then your life would be better.

I spent years trying to fix me, trying to change aspects I hated, trying to fit into a version of what society thought was best. It resulted in corporate burnout, depression, eating disorders, and, at one point, even drug addiction.

But in my darkness I found the light, I had a breakthrough: we are not our problems. There is nothing to fix. What if everything in our life is here by design? That thing you hate about yourself is not a flaw—but an invitation for more love. We can love ourselves more and the problems can dissipate.

Despite what you might believe about yourself, you are not broken, you are not your problems, there’s nothing to fix, you’re not off track, there’s not something wrong with you, your insecurities are not hindering you, and your flaws don’t make you weak, unlovable, or unsuccessful. You are not doomed to fail or stay stuck forever.  Your angst, insecurities, and fears are not the problems in your life.

The main problem is that we think we have these major problems. But our attention on them is what keeps it from going away. Tony Robbins said, “Problems need energy to live,” so naturally when we take our attention away from situations and focus more on our wellness instead of participating in the problem we can start to see the results we crave.

Here are some surprising benefits of becoming your own best friend.

1. You spend your time more wisely 

Our time is the most important form of currency we have. When you cherish yourself, you spend your time wisely. In my coaching and live workshops, people often ask, “How do I find time to do what I love when I am so exhausted at the end of the day?” Maybe you can relate. Many people don’t love what they do, which actually pulls more energy and time because it is draining on the mind and body. But we will find time and energy for what is most important to us. When you spend time on what you value you are more connected to your best self and you will have more energy.

2. It’s easier to let go of what no longer serves you 

In order to get what you want, you need to let go of what you don’t want. People who are on a self-love journey focus on wellbeing. Focusing on the good is a key component to being happy. Focus on what brings you joy instead of holding on to things that make you feel frustrated or overwhelmed. 

3. You have courage to go after your dreams

What passion have you been putting on the back burner? Put this passion first and watch how you have more energy and time available to you. When you focus on what is important to you, you can get back on track with your own goals. Because the bottom line is: when we show up for ourselves, we show up for the world. And the more you show up, the more you feel seen and appreciated. Essentially it all comes back to self-acceptance, as this is a strong foundation for self-love.

4. Pleasure becomes more focused 

We can approach pleasure with more passion. I invite you to think about what brings you pleasure. Is it wonderful food? Then maybe cook yourself a meal from a new cookbook. Do you enjoy being creative? Then maybe pull out your paints and start to create more art or sign up for an art class. Maybe you have a vision board, with loads of travel photos. Then start researching your next trip and actually put a deposit down toward that goal. Pleasure is a key part of living a balanced life.

5. You feel less guilty 

You may notice that the more in tune you become with your own desires, the less guilt you will feel. Because you will see they are signatures to your life fulfillment. The more you trust yourself, the easier it is to accept yourself. When we can honor our natural tendencies, we allow ourselves to be who we really are. We honor our truth. And in honoring our true self we show up more fully.

6. You no longer need validation from others 

When you love yourself, others can’t bring you down. When you love yourself enough, others’ opinions won’t hurt you because you will be so comfortable and confident with your own self. 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Shannon Kaiser is an international life coach and bestselling author. Her new book, The Self-Love Experiment: Fifteen Principles for Becoming More Kind, Compassionate, and Accepting of Yourself, is available now.